For years now, I believe that we have all been lied to. Deceived. Bamboozled. Robots live among us, and they have done so for a long time. Mark my words, for I say that your friends, your family, your loved ones - they may have already been replaced by mindless automatons, controlled by operators in dark, dank rooms, seeking to take over every aspect of our lives. The sudden reappearance of the island of Mechagon, and the subsequent influx of these so-called Mechagnomes? A test. To see how far they could go without us starting to question the very fabric of the world they so carefully weaved around us. But I have glimpsed the truth. In this article, I will present compelling evidence that most of the people around us, as well as those we would deem 'influential', have long since been replaced by remote-controlled automatons, and I will try to uncover their agenda. Read, reader, and be enlightened.

The Media

Even the newspaper, even the Lion's Roar itself is corrupt, I tell you. Their supposed Editor-in-Chief, some gnome called Spazzlefrock, has never been sighted by any of my sources. Does he even exist? I believe he does, and that he is part of the ruling elite of the technocracy. Just the other day, the uncle of my brother's friend's cousin twice removed overheard the Editor, Hardhy Lester, saying that he was, and I quote: "Made without genitals." Proof that he is, indeed, not a natural-born human being like me, and hopefully most of you, but that he is actually a mechanical contraption, complex enough to fool even the most watchful of observers. And I believe that this so-called Spazzlefrock exists - but he spends his day sitting in a dark dank room, with controls in front of him, remotely acting out this 'Hardhy' persona he so carefully created. You want more proof? Just look at this article. You probably won't read it, because the Lion's Roar would not want the truth out there, proving their involvement. But if you do read this, then they printed it because it offers them plausible deniability for anyone uncovering their sinister shenanigans, proving their involvement.

The Ruling Elite

Of course, the aristocracy is just as ripe with corruption as anyone else, if not even more. I'm not sure how many of them have been replaced by now, but one I know for certain: The Chancellor of the Royal Court himself, Didonus Essington. He, too, is rarely seen in public, with most people uninvolved with the Court not even sure if he exists. I believe he did, but that now, he is nothing more than just another mechano-ruler controlling the fate of our Kingdom and our planet for those lurking in the shadows. A while ago, I received a report from a friend of the grandfather of my sister-in-law's housekeeper's son's teacher, who apparently attended one of the Court's sessions. For those that do not know, these sessions are when the automatons come together and bring out empty reports, wrapped in colourful language, to conceal the fact that they do not actually control the Kingdom anymore, and they are doing nothing of importance. At this particular session, my source says, the Chancellor Essington - or rather, the robot posing as him - went silent for a good fifteen minutes at least, staring into nothingness while the entire room waited for him to speak. After a few minutes, my source says, he even sat down as if switching into some kind of power-saving mode. And if that was not enough proof for you, after a while, he suddenly jolted up, proclaiming to the assembled Court: "I'm back!" Dementia, as some say? Or is it a far more terrifying truth - a slip-up by this automaton's operator, who had to step away from his terminal. That is up for you to decide.

Law Enforcement

This one is a no-brainer, which is ironic, since most of the guards do not have brains - being robots and all. While I'm convinced there are still some real people in the guard forces, such as our beloved Sergeant Larony - who the technocracy is trying to get fired, by the way - I believe that the majority of guardsmen in Stormwind have long since been replaced, as well. And, not only that, they openly test the waters by having robots publically embedded in their patrols! We all remember the 'Sentry Bot' and the 'Company Unit', don't we? Just another step in the systematic replacement of people for robots! Of course, proof for this is difficult to find, as it is almost impossible to tell whether a supposed guard is an automaton, or just a recruit trying to follow their guide books. They both often look the same.

Businesspeople and Community Leaders

Elves are easy targets for replacement. They don't or barely age, and so the automatons need less maintenance - Just create them once, and they're good for decades without needing aging adjustment on their skin suits. And I believe two well-known Thalassians in this city have long since been supplanted, if they ever truly existed in the first place. The first is Guenhywir Talan, a so-called 'philantropist' running a charitable foundation. Charity? No, a cover-up, I say, to distract us all from what is really happening, to keep us complacent and compliant, and to stop us asking the real questions before they even arise. My sources say that every day, she ingests at least one glass of 'wine' while 'working' in her 'office'. Gullible people may say that she is simply an alcoholic, but I believe that what she - or rather, it - drinks is actually the fuel needed for continued operation. Perhaps that's why taverns are so popular, too. But more important now is the other elf-machine: Kialandi, a well-known chocolatier who runs the Hummingbird Emporium. Among the many things they sell are hygiene products, soap and the likes. But have you ever thought about what that actually is? I say they load up the soap with chemicals, it seeps into our bloodstreams and implants false memories, covering up the truth. They even give it away for free now, at a so-called soup kitchen, organised by the supposed foster daughter of the Talan-bot! Coincidence? I think not. But don't worry, I'm clear. I make my own soap now.


If all of this isn't enough for you, if you're not convinced, then I implore you to just look around, pay close attention to your surroundings. How many times do you speak to someone, only for them to not respond for seconds, sometimes even minutes. As if their operator had to step aside and leave their terminal. Has that never seemed off to you? If it hasn't, then perhaps it's time to stop buying soap.