his was supposed to be an article about High Lord Chancellor Essington's newest disparage (this time against yours truly). But honestly, what is the point, it is clear he would never win a popularity contest, not even if he ran against The Horse Lords. So instead I give you - Toilet writings of Stormwind!. I have written about corrupt government organisations, serial killers, and bad chefs, but I think nothing will make me as many enemies as exposing what the citizens of Stormwind write on the walls of toilets. To protect myself I will not mention locations as it may give clues to who wrote what. Let us start out with this gem:
"I took the Deathwing Challenge, I regret everything"
Rumours say even infamous "Sul" took the Deathwing Challenge at the Recluse. And failed. Apparently, he passed out. Here at The Lion's Roar we suggest all guards carry a container with a portion of said food, in case they need to deal with Sul.
"For a good time, yell 'Gunshot'"
Stormwind has several guard units, so I'll reveal that rumour has it this one is from the toilets of one of them.
"I screwed the barmaid"
This was from a well-known bar in the city. Fair enough but why the boasting?
"Hear me pee!"
No, just no.
"I'm a lumberjack, and here is my log."
Gross.
"Today: do something selfless for someone else and make a small difference in this horrible world!"
Now that is a nice sentiment and one I wholeheartedly support. World would be better if we all try to make a difference just once a day.
"Slock is clean!"
Yeah, we will see about that.
"Danny is clean!"
Come on Stormwind, be a little bit more creative!
"Live fast, pet dogs!"
I.. don't even know.
"Go home you're drunk"
Mostly I'm impressed with the grammer on this one. Most would have gone for youre when writing on a wall I think. Well done you. This is all good and fun, but what about science I hear you say? Well, The Lion's Roar got you covered. A couple of years ago two gnomes, brother, and sister, set out to conduct a study. They went through over 100 toilets in Stormwind, Dalaran, Boralus and many other towns, and collected writings on men and women's toilet walls and compared the two and came up with some interesting findings. For example, while women are most likely to express feelings of love, men are more likely to draw a penis. There were a handful of penises in the women's loos, too. They tended to be longer than the men’s versions. “The thing that was totally different is tone. What I found was that graffiti in the men's toilets tended to be quite aggressive and slanderous, whereas the women's graffiti tended to be a lot more optimistic and encouraging. That was the thing that shocked me the most.” The brother says. How that surprises him I don't know. Personally, I have a book I write in while on the toilet. It is my diarrhea.