e don't usually cover the really bizarre but this was just too good to not write about. And it also reminds me of my teacher in school, Miss Turtle. She really tortoise well. As Sir Overall Retchinking was standing vigil near the statue of Uther the Lightbringer in the middle of Stormwind's cathedral square - he found himself suddenly struck with a large hard and flying object. The thing bounced off his plated armour helmet - which he never takes off he assures us - and for good reasons it turns out! Besides surprise and a loud ringing noise in his ears as the object struck him, then no further injury was caused in the incident. When he bend down to examine what had struck him, he was surprised to find a large turtle lying on the ground - fully retracted into its own shell. Annoyed with the sudden assault on his shiny armour and the still ringing noise in his ears he gave the turtle a - what he calls "a gentle" - kick. "As I gave the shell a gentle kick with my steel-toed boots, I swear I heard the turtle curse at me.", and what did the turtle say you might wonder? Apparently, it called him a - and we quote: "Plate wearing gnoll fucker". Where the turtle got its rather refined vocabulary from and why it was assaulting the Knight to begin with is unknown. According to Sir Retchinking then he has never before had "a beaf" with any turtles, or tortoises for that matter - and finds himself unable to fathom why this attack occurred. We asked Proffessor Blengeursbrjarkntrtaalt - who studies ectothermic tetrapods - if turtles commonly attack people. Especially in cities and those wearing armour. Proffessor Blengeursbrjarkntrtaalt: "No. They do not." Such enlightened we are left with a few questions, and no real answers. What really happened? Did the Knight lie about the incident? is he engaged in a long running feud with turtles or a group of turtles? Was the turtle merely thrown out a window and hit the Knight and he just heard wrong when he claims it insulted him? your guess is as good as ours, and more importantly, is a turtle without a shell naked - or homeless? According to Jimmy, a local street urchin then he found a blue headband and a box with a pizza slice left in a nearby bush the next morning. If it is related to the turtle attack is unknown. Pepperoni pizza for those wondering. Without pineapples.