t is a Sunday evening. Early evening. I have scheduled a meeting between me and the two fighters in the upcoming wrestling match - The Long Game. The Azeroth Wrestling Grand Prix has their next installment on March the 6th, in other words, this coming Saturday at 8 pm. I was planning to get the two fighters weighted, see if one has a large mass advantage, but when I see the sheer size of the two combatants I decided against it, mostly because one of them - Kori Raine looked like a woman who may take offense to me asking how much she weighs. Kori Raine is the current champion, a no-nonsense Kul Tiran woman the size of a small sailship. Challenging her for the championship belt is Raamses, a draenei who despite his large stature is still dwarfed by his own ego and importance. Before Raamses made a show, I had a small talk with the current Champion. Champion Raine: I've been th' world champion since the end of May last year. H. Lester: Only the world? Champion Raine: "Universal Champion sounds tacky" That was as far as we got in our small talk before Raamses showed up. The towering brute was 3-part presence and absolutely 0-part friendliness. I asked the two to introduce themselves. Challenger Raamses: It is I, Raamses, the Greatforged, back here again in this mutt-house of a backyard. Why aren't we in the Citadel? A high and elegant balcony? Is this all the Grand Prix could cover? H. Lester: A bit of rustic exterior and fresh air is good for a decent crowd, surely? Champion Raine: 'Cause the normal person can actually come see us if we ain't tucked up in some citadel tower. Challenger Raamses: Hmph... if you'd call the crowd from the Gauntlet -decent-. They quite fit this sad sight of a fighting mudhole. Champion Raine: I'd say they were canny. They cared for the people who didn't piss all over them and the rulebook. Challenger Raamses: Bah, I don't care about that -worthless- referee. The elf was almost as unskilled as the one you hired two years ago for the bout on your ship. H. Lester: Now now.. let's try to do this in a quiet and civilized manner without calling each other names. Why don't we start with each one of you introducing yourself to the readers - in turn. Without interruptions. If possible. Challenger Raamses: Oh, -you- are the interviewer? Apologies, I thought you were Raine's pack-mule. Deep breath Hardhy and count to ten. Well, twenty might be necessary. Challenger Raamses: Dear readers of... Deleon's Ore? Whatever it was, let it be known that you are interviewing the Draenei from the Peak of Greatness, the FIRST and ONLY Greatforged among my kind... it is I, Raamses. Great start. I already love this guy. Seems like the person everyone hopes will go down with a loud bang. The guy puffed out his chest each time he spoke his own name, referring to himself in the third-person like some sort of buffoon, and as a distraction, the champion, Raine, was miming a jabbering mouth with her hand as he spoke. Adults. Clearly. Challenger Raamses: I have performed hundreds of bouts of Jed'hin, most of them within the good city of Shattrath... if only its lower city was moved outside its walls. H. Lester: What is a Jeddin? Challenger Raamses: JED'HIN is our traditional grappling art, going as far back to be a tradition in our homeworld of Argus. Any aspiring Azerothian can only dream of becoming a master of the arts. H. Lester: Right, apologies for the interruption, do go on about your merits. I swear the guy actually rolled his eyes at me. Seems not knowing about obscure cultural fighting rituals leads to mockery. Challenger Raamses: Hmph. But I've also performed in this... mixed style of wrestling. As in the Azeroth Grand Prix, where -I- was robbed of my victory of the High Seas championship. The referee counted so... oh so very slow while Kori Raine was out -cold-. Champion Raine: I wasn't. He tried to throw me into the sea. Champion Raine: I just managed to not fall. Challenger Raamses: She's interrupting me. H. Lester: Do go on Sir. Challenger Raamses: And make a note of that, let those folk know who are intelligent enough to be able to read, that their "champion" Kori Raine interrupts the Greatforged. As she did weeks ago when I was doing my victory speech. H. Lester: You interrupted his victory speech? Champion Raine: Actually, I interrupted him treating the crowd like shit. H. Lester: I see. I could. I mean, it is VERY easy to imagine that having been the case. Champion Raine: He fails to mention most of that speech was calling the crowd a bunch of morons, unworthy of his presence, calling the referee stupid... Challenger Raamses: I was treating them as they are to be treated... bunch of mutts that kept barking. H. Lester: Go on Sir, but maybe get back to your merits? or are you done? Challenger Raamses: Let it be known, I am -undefeated- in the city of Shattrath, and Dalaran. I've beaten five contestants here, as I've beaten a hundred others back in Shattrath. I would share more, but I'm not sure if your notepad is large enough. I'll have you know I have very large notepads. H. Lester: Your turn then Champion Raine: Reet. My name is Kori Raine. I am the AWGP World Heavyweight Champion. I grew up in the Dampwick Ward of Boralus and unlike him, my record ain't some doctored story full of cheating. Challenger Raamses: Bah, lies. Champion Raine: I got my ass kicked but I grew up tough. I fought in the fourth war, and -still- defended the titles I had, even when war had ruined me. I had my body smashed up by the Nobility of Kul Tiras, Orcish chiefs and more and held on tight in the end. I'll happily play to the rules i'm given but you let me off the leash I -will- hurt people. I took every risk I had to, to claim this thing at the Grand World Tournament last year. I dove off the damn Coliseum. Got thrown into the wall. I will not let go and I will -not- find a cheap shortcut of taking out officials and bending the rules to get what I want but when the gloves come off in three weeks... With a dramatic pause, she finished her introduction with a short statement directed at Raamses. Champion Raine: I'm gonna break you in half. I had by now learned that without SOME direction from me, they would happily spend the next four weeks insulting each other, so I quickly steered the conversation towards more questions. H. Lester: I think that covers the introductions. Are you worried at all Raamses? Challenger Raamses: Oh, Lying lying Kori Raine... no, I'm not worried at all, my scribbling fellow. If anything, who is worrying is in front of me, right now. It was that runt of a Ragnor who -hit- the referee. But no matter, he lost fairly. H. Lester: You been practicing for the match? got any special training planned? Champion Raine: You mean the referee you hid behind and shoved into him? Challenger Raamses: I was just dodging a strike, unlike you, I don't have all my senses dulled in my face. Jumping up and down and doing a lot of handwaving to get their attention and getting them back on track for the interview was about as useful as trying to bring down Dalaran herself with a mundane slingshot. Anyway, eventually, we got back on track. Challenger Raamses: Special training? Nay, my training is all the same. I bring the disciples together, and the best ones are allowed to spar with me on top of the Peak of Greatness! H. Lester: Kori, you worried about the fight? Champion Raine: Not at all. In fact i'm driven. Expectations on me are high every time I step in to the ring and I always meet 'em. But this time... This time I need to prove I can finish the job, and wipe a smug grin off for good. You'll need more than two years to get your pride back this time fella. H. Lester: You got any special training planned? any last minute rigorous training schedule? Challenger Raamses: Hah! Oh, oh Kori Raine... of course you need to prove yourself... Champion Raine: Me. Oh... Nothing last minute. But it's been a while. But i've cleaned up. Focused the muscle. Got ready to take and give harder than I have in a loooong time. H. Lester: What can you promise the audience? H. Lester: You can both answer Champion Raine: Oh that's easy for me. I'm gonna put a smug prick in his place and walk out still holding this high. With that, she held up her champion's belt and pushed it into Raamses face, of course. As a reponse, he walked up close in her face and for a moment the air was tense as he replied with his own taunt: Challenger Raamses: I will promise this pitiful audience, they can all be invited to your retirement ceremony when I'm done with you. Champion Raine: If the Horde can't put me down by throwing me off a cliff, what you gonna do? Raamses then proceeded to knee her in the belly, doubling over in pain and dropping her belt, coughing a few times. H. Lester: Wooooow! Save it for the tournament! Challenger Raamses: No matter how far you will climb to risk fate, -I- will be there to make sure you hit rock bottom. H. Lester: That was extremely underhanded of you Raamses! Challenger Raamses: Underhanded? Was it underhanded when SHE hosted an event with an unfair referee?! No, this mutt from the rotting pool of Boralus is getting what she deserves. H. Lester: I asked you here to TALK, not fight. Challenger Raamses: And I will make sure you can return to those slums and join -your- people, beggars, thieves, lowlife scum. Where you belong." Having gathered herself Raine managed to half-stand and flip off Raamses with a rude gesture involving the middle finger which afterward prodded his chest harshly. H. Lester: Right.. I'm ending this here then before you two start fighting more! Champion Raine: He wants a fight.. He can have it... when the bell rings... Challenger Raamses: I'll promise the audience one more thing, inter-viewer! I will make -sure-, the last time that Kori can fly, will END her career. And I will guide her to her end, even if I have to throw her off this floating city myself! So you can join that rotten Tidemother of yours." Getting them a little calmer I had them line up in the ring for a picture. The final part of this ordeal. I could almost taste freedom at this point. Challenger Raamses: Hmph! Champion Raine: C'mon.. scared of sharing a ring with me? A few photos later and it was time to move on with my life. H. Lester: Thank you.. that should do it. Try not to kill each other before the tournament.. Champion Raine: I won't. I'll save it. Challenger Raamses: Hmph... enjoy while it lasts. I will -end- you. So, there you have it, dear reader. If you like fighting, rude behavior, no-nonsense violence, go watch the fight this Saturday.